Girls’ Weekend With My Teenager 💞
“I’ve been seeing worried parents for decades now. Parents worry, and kids are mostly fine. Just do this one thing: Be enchanted by whatever’s currently enchanting your child.”
I got to spend a bunch of 1-on-1 time with this incredible 13-year-old recently while my younger daughter, Norah, was on a daddy/daughter trip with my husband. Every other year starting at age 8, each girl gets to take a weekend trip with Steven, and this is something he decided on his own that he wanted to do to invest in our girls while they are in our home (Daddy of year award goes to… 🥹🏆). And the fun part for me is that I then get to have a special weekend with the daughter who is staying home - like our own little staycation!
This weekend, I just loved every minute of hanging out with Luci Belle. I’m always amazed at how well she knows herself - so much better than I did at this age. Every day, I’m delighted to be her mama. We can just be together - chasing all the fun Nashville murals or hanging at a coffee shop or introverting at home in our comfy sweatpants - and I’m completely and utterly happy.
And that “enchantment” quote above is mostly true to me, with a few caveats…* (I actually finished reading Shauna Niequist’s book, I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet, this past week, after saving it for just the right time in my life. This was the right time.)
But yeah, this is why we drove all over Nashville looking for the Taylor Swift murals and her favorite spots all over town. It was so much fun for both of us!
Our first stop was lunch at our family favorite, Hopdoddy Burger Bar (truffle parmesan friesssss 🤤), then to Fido coffee shop for a little treat. Apparently Fido is where T. Swift used to hang out - who didn’t? Fido is the site of so many of my significant life memories and conversations. If you remember “the ledge” that used to be out front facing 21st Avenue, you are truly a Nashville original.
We were able to snag one of my favorite booths with the worn wooden table and seats that I’ve probably sat in a hundred times. She got a chocolate croissant, and I got the Local Latte - my always favorite.
The above lips mural was on the outside wall of Fido, so we took advantage of that photo op before heading to The Gulch to check out the Kelsey Montague wings mural. Why have I not been to the wings mural yet? I have no earthly idea.
There can often be a long line, but on a Thursday afternoon there were only 2 girls taking selfies there, so I parked on the side of the street so we could run over really quick and snap some photos.
I love these so much.
Then, we headed to another old stomping grounds of mine. It was an incredibly gorgeous day at Centennial Park! Again, a spot with so many sentimental memories for me…walking through the park with friends, taking out-of-town guests there when I was at Belmont U, and a picnic on the lawn with Steven when we were dating and he came to visit me. And now, new memories with her.
We were in search of the bench there that’s dedicated to Taylor Swift, referencing her song, “Invisible String,” which says, “Green was the color of the grass where I used to read at Centennial Park…Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park.”
So the city of Nashville recently added this bench dedicated to her. I thought there might be people around it, but it was just sitting there, uninhabited, basking in the sunshine. We took care of that right away by settling in for a bit to enjoy the view and the gorgeous Nashville afternoon.
We tried to hit up one more Taylor Swift mural outside Grimey’s Record Shop in East Nashville but as we pulled up to the record shop, there were mural painters painting over the spot where it had been at that very moment - no lie. Oh well. It was time to face the Nashville traffic and head home to our quiet countryside, where we would most definitely be changing into sweatpants the second we walked through the door.
We did lots of other things on our girls’ weekend, like eat pizza, and watch Dream Home Makeover and some of LB’s favorite movies like True Spirit and Soul Surfer. Our fun ending to girls’ weekend was shopping for some natural skin care supplies and doing spa facials at home together.
Since my younger daughter and Steven had just gone to Wicked on Broadway while they were on their trip, we thought it’d be funny to make our faces green like Elphaba. We used this face mask.
Even before I had a teenager (and especially now that I have one!), I really disliked it when people spoke negatively about teens, making sweeping statements like, “you know how they are” or discounting them because of their life stage and age.
Teenagers are incredible humans who are finding their way in the world. And we have a lot to learn from them if we listen. Although I’ve been LB’s homeschool teacher since she started Pre-K (le sigh…), this girl teaches me so much. Like how to bring a calming presence into a room. How to stay organized. How to take care of the environment by being frugal and not being wasteful. And how to take care of my skin! (She has quite the morning & evening skin care routine - if only I’d taken such good care of my skin at that age!) I’m sure this is only scratching the surface of all I’ll learn from my daughters in this lifetime, and I’m so grateful for that.
Like I said recently in this post when she was still a ‘tween,
“With lots of prayer, I just keep focusing on the small moments, one connection at a time. It always comes back to connection - pressing in and toward our children rather than turning away or giving in to what societal pressures, sending them out with confidence after they’ve first been filled from the inside, under the safe wings of our family unit.
And beyond that? I trust we will have what we need, when we need it.
Life is always going to be messy and beautiful. If we just keep coming back to connection, I believe we will find our way. “
I still believe it!
It’s true that things feel like they’re moving faster now in the teen years - you start counting down how many more years they’ll be in your home rather than counting up. But don’t give in to the mentality that time is slipping through your fingers, and there’s nothing you can do about it. In some ways, this is an excuse, a way to just give in, rather than taking action.
Carve out time.
Stretch time.
That’s all in our control. And I promise it’s worth every bit of effort. 💛
*I do want to clarify that I don’t think being enchanted by what our child is enchanted by is the only one thing to do. It’s just one of the things. Because I also don’t want my child to be just “fine” - I want them to thrive and flourish in this world. I think the heart of this quote is to pay attention to our child and the hobbies and things that are interesting to them and by showing interest in it, we can build a deeper relationship with that child. We still use discernment to be on the lookout for anything wrong or against our values or threatening to the health of our child.
