Loving My 'Tween
I’m so tired of the old narrative of “just you wait until they’re teenagers!” said with a voice of dread and an eye-roll. It’s both a tired and inaccurate narrative. How are our kids supposed to act when adults don’t speak life into them? I remember something similar when my children were babies and toddlers - people would “warn” you about the “terrible twos” or having a “threenager.”
I refuse to ever parent my children with a sense of fear, and I truly value learning from parents further ahead than I am. So many of them agree that - yes! - there will always be new challenges and struggles to work through, but we can still have great relationships with our kids in each stage of growing.
There are already so many new challenges to figure out and navigate in this preteen stage with my oldest daughter, who is currently 12.5. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all there is to navigate for kids in this stage as we help them branch out in their social life and navigate new freedoms. Phone or no phone? How much screen time? How do I teach them healthy use of technology as a tool and not as a toy?
It can be exhausting to deal with all the decisions to make, but I know that this is 100% a worthy use of my time.
With lots of prayer, I just keep focusing on the small moments, one connection at a time. It always comes back to connection - pressing in and toward our children rather than turning away or giving in to what societal pressures, sending them out with confidence after they’ve first been filled from the inside, under the safe wings of our family unit.
And beyond that? I trust we will have what we need, when we need it.
Life is always going to be messy and beautiful. If we just keep coming back to connection, I believe we will find our way.
As this girl gets older and enters the actual teen years, I hope she knows that I not only fiercely love her, but I just really, really like hanging out with her. She sure is a gem. She loves organizing but is also a free-spirited artist and creative. She is a great leader for her little sister. She has a strong faith for her age. She makes us the perfect pancakes every Sunday morning and can plate food more beautifully than most adults (wants to be a chef like Daddy!). She is always there for a word of encouragement and a hug. She brings so much joy and life to her home, just as she has since the day she was born!
As I type this, I look down at my laptop where I’ve taped a quote she handed me on a little piece of paper that she typed on the typewriter. It says, “AS A SUNFLOWER FACES THE SUN, TURN YOUR FACE TO GOD.”
That’s my prayer for you, too, my sweet girl. Keep growing strong, shining bright, and being beautiful you. 🌻
